My head spins around this sometimes but it doesn't help. I land on the same reality every time; the reality that whats done is done and you don't get over it, you just live with it and it lives through you. Hopefully it brands us with a character goodness but this is not always the case. Too often the affects make us act and become the very thing we feared we would be. I guess recognizing this a a good place to affirm there's an opportunity to allow events; good and bad, to mold positive or negative individual traits. We decide which they will be.
To be thankful and content is to decide to be as such, but it's easier for some people than others, I think, but maybe not. Either way its tiring to worry about it and feeling like you're going bloody crazy. I usually work through this stuff when I ride. I ride, just ride, thankful and content and it gets me there, into a sweet nothingness.
Peace & roll strong.