Friday, June 14, 2013

Tame Thoughts

Time keeps rolling along and I haven't blogged in a while.  I've missed it.  I like to write and like going back to read my own stuff too.  Clearly I'm no one's writer or anything. I spell like a fifth grader and just plaster it out there but I still enjoy putting pen to paper.  It gets stuff outta my head and I guess in most ways that's why jughead51 is more like a diary than editorial. 

I had a lot on my mind last night too, that's for sure.  But from time to time who doesn't, right?  We all deal with things and we deal with them in our own way.  At 2:00 am last night I was wide awake soothing off an anxiety attack and it sucked.  As a kid and throughout my adult life I've had panic attacks.  I still get them once in a while but not so often and I was thinking today about last night.  I mean, what the heck?  What causes this? That's rhetorical btw I know what the causes are but knowing them makes it no easier to go through.  It's still super unsettling and exhausting.

Purgatory RR, Sutton, MA.

The older I get the more people I meet with similar stuff.  I guess the stigmas around this are fading quickly and that's really cool.  Nothing's worse than feeling like the only person on the planet with a panic attack when its happening to you.

Riding, music and authentic self expression all help me to work through the things that tend to build the anxiety.   I can't really explain all of that but I know when I'm actively doing it and when I'm not and I think most other people do too. 

There are plenty of other ways to get yourself balanced.  One of the calmest spaces for me is right in the middle of a bike race.  It's certainly not the only reason I race but it's definitely another healthy reason to do it.  Racing is demanding and channeling.  It eliminates pretty much everything from your mind other than the action and kinetics right in front of you.  Not to be cliche but its very zen like. .

Over time I've also come to understand that it's also just a matter of accepting ones own personal chemistry and dealing with it.  Be self altruistic. Take care of yourself.  It'll calm you down and tame your thoughts.

Peace and roll strong.

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