Sunday, December 30, 2012

Desperation or Inspiration?

I had some decisions last week that got me thinking about the difference between desperation and inspiration.  These weren't immense decisions but important enough that they effect things in the near future so they weren't trivial either.  In other words I wasn't just choosing tooth paste or a cable package.. know what I'm saying?  So I really thought about my 'intent' behind the choices in front of me.  I've learned that understanding 'intent' is the quickest way to understanding everything.  However, understanding this in principle is far easier than recognizing 'Intent' in the essence of things as they occur because outcomes are always effected by motivation going in.

 

There are many complexities around why all of this can be difficult but I think one of the reasons is that an inspiration to do something vs a desperation to do that very same thing can, at first glance, appear very similar to one another but they are not the same thing and will yield very different results.

The reason they appear the same is because desperation wants to embody the courage, honesty and  personal actualization of authentic inspiration but it can't.  I suppose the reasons for this would fill the almanac but regardless of this desperation is often presented as if it were genuine inspiration but it's not.

The challenge is recognizing the difference between inspiration and desperation within ourselves and in others but this doesn't just happen.  It takes reflection and focus to tell the difference because desperation can be a pretty good mocking bird.  Like an actor with great skill it can fool even the greatest of minds.  But at it's core desperation is a screenplay of emulation and imitation.  It is void of personal authenticity and confidence which are rare but are also the posts and beams of inspiration and why H.D.Thoreau said "Most men lead lives of quiet desperation." 

Dec. 2012, on tracks toward Walden Pond, by DSL
Sooner or later even great actors are caught with their wigs off and makeup cases open.  It's an awkward and vulnerable moment where the gap between inspiration and desperation is revealed.  Come to think of it... it's bigger than a gap really, more like an ocean.  I know because I've felt it, more than I care to admit.  Everyone has.  But to those of us that actually care it's at these times when we decide to either work on being a better actor and give up another piece of our soul or we decide to find our own ocean of inspiration and then sail responsibly into it, to journey it, take on learning it, to improve, to share, to contribute and to give back.  Only inspiration yields such things.  It is "a melody softly soaring through my atmosphere...where soul meets body."

Peace and roll strong.

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